It's lonely at the top . . . if you are alone

Whoever coined the phrase, “It’s lonely at the top”, knew what they were saying.

Often, leaders are in a position of not being able to openly discuss critical issues, whether they involve privacy, or considering countless intended and unintended consequences of actions that a CEO alone is ultimately responsible for anticipating. There are areas that only executive committees of boards and God can be sought out for help.

Last Saturday, as I awaited the start of our belated Christmas gift exchange – now that all the “kids” were home – I sat on the couch with a load of issues weighing on me heavily. I picked up a book at random, hoping that mindless reading would chase some of these wearisome thoughts from my mind, if only for a few moments. But they hung there, and I closed my eyes not wishing them to betray the level of anguish I felt. As I sat there, not hardly breathing, music began to reach my heart; notes that my daughter had been playing on the piano, but somehow just started to reach me in the midst of this turmoil.

The soothing music began to draw the anguish away and the thoughts began evaporating from my mind. My heartbeat, which just moments before had been heavy and obvious, now softened and calmed. A deep breath arose within my chest and exhaled as if the music itself was reaching in and drawing out of me the tension and concerns that were binding me tightly.

As the weight rose from me I opened my eyes and watched as a beautiful sloop slowly sailed across the bay. I recalled the day of sailing in San Diego bay some years ago and the feeling of being drawn along by the wind and only the slightest movement of the wheel guiding its direction; that effortless pressure to an unseen rudder aided by the invisible force of the wind took us across the bay and out the channel. That day was awesome – and I now felt as though I was out there on that sloop and nothing was holding me back.

The last notes dissipated, and another deep breath subsided within me. I asked Molly what that song was. Almost knowing what I was feeling, she silently arose and handed me the paper – an Order of Service from our church – and she pointed to the lines of a hymn:

How sweet the name of Jesus sounds in a believer’s ear!
It soothes his sorrows, heals his wounds,
And drives away his fear.
It makes the wounded spirit whole
And calms the troubled breast;
“Tis manna to the hungry soul, and to the weary, rest.
How Sweet the Name, John Newton & Thomas Hastings

Whoever coined the phrase, “It’s lonely at the top”, didn’t know what they were saying, and couldn't see Who was there all along.